1.  Being the “leader” might mean working in a background or seemingly insignificant position in order to secure the best outcome. 

2.  Instead of “leading,” the leader might have to withdraw.  You don’t withdraw because you are angry.  Withdraw because you care. 

3.  A leader doesn’t have to intervene to “save the situation.”  Nobody wants to fill someone else’s shoes.  They want to walk in their own shoes.  Letting people do it their way, even if they make mistakes, is necessary if you want people to help you. – Shar McBee

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I recently read a biography of the musician Willie Nelson.  He tried for years to make it in Nashville, the place where ‘country singers’ were supposed to find success.  Discouraged, he finally went home to Texas where people liked him.  From there, he launched one of the most prolific and long-lasting music careers of all time.

Here’s the key – he didn’t shut himself off from the folks in Nashville.  Even though they didn’t recognize or appreciate him, he remained open and accessible to all sorts of people, friends and foes.

He didn’t abandon his principles; he was clear about HIS music; but he remained open.  WE can only lead others if we remain open.

If you find this challenging, try the debate method.  Argue the case of your opponent.  It will give you a fuller and deeper understanding of the people who oppose you.  It might even make them more open to you.  Nashville came to love Willie.  Your opponents could come to appreciate you, too. – Shar McBee

Three scenarios:

A SPOUSE.  A survey found that the number one reason that men cheat on their wives is NOT that the mistress is prettier or sexier, but that she likes his clothes and appreciates his job.  She appreciates him.  The wife takes him for granted.

A CAFÉ OWNER.  Last week I stopped in a café for a sandwich.  The waitress served me, then disappeared.  I was alone in the tiny café when the owner, his wife and a sign painter came in.  They began a conversation about a new sign. 

“We need customers, so we want a big sign,” the owner said.  They talked for twenty minutes about the sign.  They left without saying one word to me, a customer.

A POLITICIAN.  When she was shaking your hand, she looked over your shoulder to see who else was in the room.  She lost the election.

Why do we take for granted what is right in front of us? 

My wish for you this New Year 2010:  Don’t worry about changing the world.  Focus on the needs of the people right in front of you.  It will change YOUR world.

– Shar McBee

When you feel stuck, do you?

1.  Jump on a quick solution.

2.  Accept help from the wrong source.

3.  Fold your hands and give up the struggle.

If so, you are not alone.  Most people will do anything to get out of an uncomfortable situation.  They let a stressful position force them into a worse one.

When you feel stuck, anxiety prevents you from gaining a true perspective.

One of my favorite quotes is from Corinthians, “He also serves who only stands and waits.”  When you are in the dark, before you make a move, wait for the light.  When you feel stuck, the best thing to do (and the hardest) is to wait until clarity returns.    – Shar McBee

P.S.  The Junior League of Atlanta published an excellent summary of my book “Joy of Leadership” in their magazine.  You can read it here:

http://publications.ingagepublication.com/PEACHTREEPAPERSFALL09/digitalpublication.php#45

A successful Australian business owner told me his secret for surviving a previous recession:  Set limits on your limitations.

He said if you go too far in imposing limitations on others, they will rebel.

If you limit yourself too much, it can be damaging.

Years ago his business was hit hard, so he went to an advisor expecting to learn how to cut.  Instead he received this guidance:  Treat your employees as brothers and sisters.

The advice surprised him, but he found that when he changed his attitude it made great changes possible.  He gathered support.  They became a tight team, and when the recession eased they were prepared to quickly seize the moment.  Once the obstacle was removed, they didn’t miss any opportunities.  While others were scrambling to rebuild, they were able to expand into the USA, China and Japan.

Can you apply this to your situation? – Shar McBee

Imagine this:  You are the president.  The secretary does an excellent job of taking minutes, sending out notices to members, and recording attendance.  Without him your job would be harder, so you publicly praise him often. 

Good idea, right?

Unfortunately the secretary has alienated 85% of the members.  Even though he is efficient, most people find him irritating.  They don’t like the nasty way he treats guests and tells members to “suck it up.” 

But you NEED that secretary.  Should you continue to praise him in public?

This happened in an organization I worked with.  The president was so dependent on the secretary that he praised him again and again in public.

However, every time he extolled the secretary, the president created resistance.  Most of the members were arguing with him (in their minds.)  The true leader of any group is the person who connects with others through an inner sense of truth.  By ignoring what everyone knew to be the truth, that the secretary was not nice, the president lost control (lost the leadership) of the members. – Shar McBee

Shar McBee is a motivational speaker on the topics of the “Joy of Leadership,”  “To Lead is to Serve” and the “Joy of Fundraising.”  Contact Shar:  Shar@JoyofLeadership.com

The Chinese word for affluence (Ta Yu) is made up of two symbols.  Strength and creativity within.  Clarity and light without.  Affluence will come to you through your own creativity after you get very clear about expressing it.

Last week I gave three speeches (one in Austin and two in San Antonio.) At the beginning of each, I asked people to write down what they wanted  (both from the speech, and in a long-range goal.) Throughout the session,  I asked people to apply my information to their own goals.  At the end, 100% said they had received what they wanted from the speech.

Affluence.  If you have a strong goal and you are clear about the steps you will take towards it, you are probably going to get what you want.

Coincidentally, last week I received an email from a young woman in Atlanta who had heard me speak several years ago.  She said, “When you asked us to write down what we wanted, I wanted a boyfriend.  Sounds silly, but that was what I wrote down.  I met my ‘now’ husband soon afterwards. I’m writing to you today because I realized I should tell you that success story to add to your arsenal.”

 – Shar McBee

I was struggling to set up an event. Nothing worked.  I kept thinking, “Will it even happen?”  Finally, I remembered this from TO LEAD IS TO SERVE:

“After you’ve given your best effort, be patient.  The struggle to get out

of the cocoon is exactly what makes a butterfly strong enough to fly.”

The definition of “struggle” is to fight, or wrestle.  The antonym is to surrender or yield.  A truly strong person knows when to fight and when to yield.

You are probably not surprised that my event is happening.  If you live near Austin, Texas, you are invited.

I’m presenting the seminar with a very funny magician.  If you are struggling with fundraising, come and

have a good time. – Shar McBee

This week on two popular television shows in the United States, the underdog won.  It could be a message for all of us.

Do you remember the story of Nehemiah and the wall?  Nehemiah was faced with a huge obstacle.

The wall of Jerusalem had been destroyed.  It was a big task to rebuild and the people felt hopeless.

(In Nehemiah’s day, the wall was central to the city’s safety.)

Nehemiah didn’t succumb to hopelessness.  Instead, he divided the work into little sections.

Each person was asked to build a small portion.  And it worked!  Because of the leader’s spirit, the obstacle was overcome.

As the leader, when you are surrounded by obstacles, your biggest challenge is a feeling of hopelessness.  

When you feel hopeless, you attract fear.  You increase distrust among others that it will work out. 

To hide it, you may become ostentatious. Either way, you shut out the people who would help you.

When you are surrounded by obstacles, the question is this:  How strong is your spirit?

Can you go on, even though you’ve made mistakes?  Can you remain modest and honest as you persevere?  Yes you can!  Underdogs often win good fortune in the end.

 – Shar McBee

When we are faced with choices:  Do we choose what is good?  Or what is easy?

An obvious example:

Do we use sex to sell books to adolescents?  That’s easy.  But is it good?

Less obvious:

Do we speak up when someone takes credit for our work?

Or when we are given credit for someone else’s idea?

The choice to ignore the good, and do what is easy, is compelling.  It may seem harmless at first, but eventually becomes an embarrassment.  When we choose the easy, we give away our greatness.

When we choose the good, it is like buying a high-quality product.  It may be more expensive, but it protects our future. – Shar McBee

What do you think?  Let me know.  Post a comment.