I believe that YOU have a purpose and a unique gift to give to the world.  If you are feeling stopped from bringing your mission to expression, remember that progress comes in stops and starts. When stopped, try this method to get yourself started again.

Follow the example of water.  What does water do when it comes upon a rock?  It flows over or around it.  When it comes upon a precipice does it squeal, “That’s too steep”?  No.  It goes right over the cliff.  What happens when it comes to a hole?  It fills the hole up and flows on.

On the other hand, what happens when water does not flow on?  It gets stagnant, doesn’t it?  It’s the same with us.  If we let fear or indecision stop us, we get stagnant too.

(If you have the book, you can read more about this in the final chapter of To Lead is to Serve.  Also available here.) http://joyofleadership.com/products/index.htm#books

The world needs good leadership!  Please share your Joy of Leadership tips with others.    – Shar McBee

Has someone done this to you?  Not showed up for an appointment?  Cut you off when you made a suggestion?  Not returned your call?

When we’ve been insulted, the tendency is to feel, “Poor Me” or “I’ll cut them out of my life.”  Or, “I’ll straighten them out by telling them what they’ve done wrong.”  Unfortunately, none of these paths will lead to success for YOU.

When somebody has done you wrong, continue on YOUR path.  You have a goal (you wanted that appointment for a reason.)  Move toward another opportunity.  Don’t go back and dwell on the insult.  You can’t change that person.  Move on (quickly.)  Why let someone else’s bad behavior detract from what you want to accomplish? – Shar McBee

Three scenarios:

A SPOUSE.  A survey found that the number one reason that men cheat on their wives is NOT that the mistress is prettier or sexier, but that she likes his clothes and appreciates his job.  She appreciates him.  The wife takes him for granted.

A CAFÉ OWNER.  Last week I stopped in a café for a sandwich.  The waitress served me, then disappeared.  I was alone in the tiny café when the owner, his wife and a sign painter came in.  They began a conversation about a new sign. 

“We need customers, so we want a big sign,” the owner said.  They talked for twenty minutes about the sign.  They left without saying one word to me, a customer.

A POLITICIAN.  When she was shaking your hand, she looked over your shoulder to see who else was in the room.  She lost the election.

Why do we take for granted what is right in front of us? 

My wish for you this New Year 2010:  Don’t worry about changing the world.  Focus on the needs of the people right in front of you.  It will change YOUR world.

– Shar McBee

When you feel stuck, do you?

1.  Jump on a quick solution.

2.  Accept help from the wrong source.

3.  Fold your hands and give up the struggle.

If so, you are not alone.  Most people will do anything to get out of an uncomfortable situation.  They let a stressful position force them into a worse one.

When you feel stuck, anxiety prevents you from gaining a true perspective.

One of my favorite quotes is from Corinthians, “He also serves who only stands and waits.”  When you are in the dark, before you make a move, wait for the light.  When you feel stuck, the best thing to do (and the hardest) is to wait until clarity returns.    – Shar McBee

P.S.  The Junior League of Atlanta published an excellent summary of my book “Joy of Leadership” in their magazine.  You can read it here:

http://publications.ingagepublication.com/PEACHTREEPAPERSFALL09/digitalpublication.php#45

Your ability to handle power (and your ability to influence people) will increase as you strengthen your inner-independence.  Your strong commitment to doing the right thing will fortify it. Your doubt will make it decrease.

Thank you to all the people who sent me their thoughts last week about how to handle power.  Here are three.

1.  Isn’t real power the ability to empower others? – Wayne Sandberg, Maryland

2.  It is sometimes tricky to differentiate between enthusiasm and creativity, and out right drunkenness with power.  A little exposure to power tells a lot about a person.

– Marilyn Leck, Washington

3.  It’s the “we,” not the “me;” the “ours,” not the “mine” that results in teamwork, ownership, incredible initiatives and outcomes that, ultimately, garner widespread and genuine support. – Jennifer Sinisgalli, Ohio

Please share YOUR thoughts.  Thank you.

– Shar McBee

People with big ambition will not fare well in this climate. Ambition interferes with the need to be patient and persevering. Ambition makes you contrive results. To think that small efforts will not make a difference is arrogance.

On the other hand, for people with big determination, this climate is for you! No matter how bleak, you won’t sit back and wait. Your determination will propel you forward in small steps.

Even though this is not a time to launch big programs, or ask for big donations and big orders, it is a GREAT time to plant small seeds. One seed contains the potential of 10,000 forests.

Success is yours if you use this time to plant seeds for the future. – Shar McBee

The Chinese word for affluence (Ta Yu) is made up of two symbols.  Strength and creativity within.  Clarity and light without.  Affluence will come to you through your own creativity after you get very clear about expressing it.

Last week I gave three speeches (one in Austin and two in San Antonio.) At the beginning of each, I asked people to write down what they wanted  (both from the speech, and in a long-range goal.) Throughout the session,  I asked people to apply my information to their own goals.  At the end, 100% said they had received what they wanted from the speech.

Affluence.  If you have a strong goal and you are clear about the steps you will take towards it, you are probably going to get what you want.

Coincidentally, last week I received an email from a young woman in Atlanta who had heard me speak several years ago.  She said, “When you asked us to write down what we wanted, I wanted a boyfriend.  Sounds silly, but that was what I wrote down.  I met my ‘now’ husband soon afterwards. I’m writing to you today because I realized I should tell you that success story to add to your arsenal.”

 – Shar McBee

This week on two popular television shows in the United States, the underdog won.  It could be a message for all of us.

Do you remember the story of Nehemiah and the wall?  Nehemiah was faced with a huge obstacle.

The wall of Jerusalem had been destroyed.  It was a big task to rebuild and the people felt hopeless.

(In Nehemiah’s day, the wall was central to the city’s safety.)

Nehemiah didn’t succumb to hopelessness.  Instead, he divided the work into little sections.

Each person was asked to build a small portion.  And it worked!  Because of the leader’s spirit, the obstacle was overcome.

As the leader, when you are surrounded by obstacles, your biggest challenge is a feeling of hopelessness.  

When you feel hopeless, you attract fear.  You increase distrust among others that it will work out. 

To hide it, you may become ostentatious. Either way, you shut out the people who would help you.

When you are surrounded by obstacles, the question is this:  How strong is your spirit?

Can you go on, even though you’ve made mistakes?  Can you remain modest and honest as you persevere?  Yes you can!  Underdogs often win good fortune in the end.

 – Shar McBee

The earth makes things grow by allowing itself to be acted upon by the sun, fire, wind, and water.

The earth is receptive to other elements.  Are you?

Imagine this:  You have a room full of creative people. 

Do you let them create?  Or do you present a list of things YOU want done?

The best way to make things happen is to let people be creative.  Be receptive to the ideas, skills and expertise of others. 

P.S. The YouTube video about how to ask for money is only one minute.  And it’s very creative!  

– Shar McBee

When you need to influence someone, the best thing you can do is this:  Be flexible.  Don’t be stiff. 

When you pre-determine how you want people to respond, they won’t. When you are preoccupied with “getting it right,” you miss the nuances.

It is usually a brief period when we can influence people.  When that moment wanes, withdraw and wait.  Control your ambition and give people a chance to consider your request. If you push or hover, you’ll lose the opportunity to influence them.

“How to Ask for Donations.”

Fabiano Cafure, an art photographer in Rio de Janeiro, created a compelling short video (one minute) from my article “How to Ask for Donations.”  You can watch it on YouTube:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ckm5dlSnzQ

Thank you, Fabiano! – Shar McBee