I believe that YOU have a purpose and a unique gift to give to the world.  If you are feeling stopped from bringing your mission to expression, remember that progress comes in stops and starts. When stopped, try this method to get yourself started again.

Follow the example of water.  What does water do when it comes upon a rock?  It flows over or around it.  When it comes upon a precipice does it squeal, “That’s too steep”?  No.  It goes right over the cliff.  What happens when it comes to a hole?  It fills the hole up and flows on.

On the other hand, what happens when water does not flow on?  It gets stagnant, doesn’t it?  It’s the same with us.  If we let fear or indecision stop us, we get stagnant too.

(If you have the book, you can read more about this in the final chapter of To Lead is to Serve.  Also available here.) http://joyofleadership.com/products/index.htm#books

The world needs good leadership!  Please share your Joy of Leadership tips with others.    – Shar McBee

1.  Being the “leader” might mean working in a background or seemingly insignificant position in order to secure the best outcome. 

2.  Instead of “leading,” the leader might have to withdraw.  You don’t withdraw because you are angry.  Withdraw because you care. 

3.  A leader doesn’t have to intervene to “save the situation.”  Nobody wants to fill someone else’s shoes.  They want to walk in their own shoes.  Letting people do it their way, even if they make mistakes, is necessary if you want people to help you. – Shar McBee

Be my friend on Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=1419623208

When people feel included, they support you.

When people feel excluded, they undermine you.

If you make your decisions at the top,

don’t assume those below will implement them.

When you want people to “buy in” – listen to them.

Let them give you advice.  Let them add their ideas.

Let them talk.  Because people remember what THEY

say more than what YOU tell them. – Shar McBee

PS  I’d like to “include” you as my friend on Facebook.

To be my friend:   http://www.facebook.com/pages/Shar-McBee/94712870749#!/profile.php?id=1419623208&ref=ts

To join the “To Lead is to Serve’ group:   http://www.facebook.com/pages/Shar-McBee/94712870749#!/group.php?gid=102173708872&ref=ts

Doubt can actually lead to exhaustion.  It makes people tired.  When we are influenced by doubt, we block ourselves from seeing a solution. 

It’s not that we have to “believe” when we don’t.  We just have to get rid of disbelief.

The next time you doubt that things will work out, try to be open-minded.  It’s impossible to be creative and also filled with doubt.  Being open-minded will allow your creativity to move mountains.  Holding on to doubt will block your creative process.

– Shar McBee

Do you…?

A.  Send an email “setting them straight.”

B.  Determine that the bad situation will never work out.

C.  Try to persuade them of your point of view.

D.  Attempt to force a solution just to get past the awkwardness.

E.  Let wounded pride turn to hatred.

If your final opinion is resentment, YOU (not the other person) will suffer.

You can’t change another person. The challenge is to change your reaction. 

The following advice was given to me:  Allow them to go their way.  Carry on with your life, but don’t give them up as hopeless.

Still, it hurts when you split with people that you used to admire.  What do YOU do? 

If you have suggestions, please post them below. 

Thanks. – Shar McBee

When you find yourself in an influential position, don’t be surprised if it arouses envy.  You can’t avoid it.  You can avoid becoming embroiled in it. 

1.  Do your duty. 

2.  Be conscientious. 

3.  Don’t seek to “be somebody.”  Seek to do something worthwhile.

If you follow these 3 steps, eventually the envy will melt away. – Shar McBee

I suggested that someone thank two people.  (The two had been helpful to him.)  I thought he’d be thankful for my suggestion.  Instead, he bristled, “No one is better at gratitude than I am.”

He was angry at my suggestion.  I thought I was being helpful, but I hurt his pride.

Does it mean I shouldn’t make suggestions?

When you tell others what ‘should’ happen, you create resistance.  Position creates opposition.  As an alternative, offer what you think is right and then let it go.  Just watch what happens.  And don’t fear adversity.  Sometimes it is the only way to grow.  Of course, you don’t court adversity, but when it occurs – learn from it.

What I learned (hopefully) is that when you make a suggestion, you need to be careful about when you make it, how you say it, and to whom.

What do you think? – Shar McBee

P.S.  Two weeks ago the message was about how gratitude can help you to gain support.  I received “Thank YOU” emails from 84 of you. (One email was negative.)  It’s interesting how something as agreeable as gratitude can arouse such strong reactions!

When times are tough –

Your challenge is to remain simple and humble. 

When things get better –

Your challenge is to remember what it was like when times were tough. 

When better times approach –

The tendency is to let down your guard, revert to bad habits, and lose your self-restraint. 

This time, learn from your experience –

Your challenge when times are tough is to remain simple and humble.

Your challenge is the same when better times approach. – Shar McBee

I recently read a biography of the musician Willie Nelson.  He tried for years to make it in Nashville, the place where ‘country singers’ were supposed to find success.  Discouraged, he finally went home to Texas where people liked him.  From there, he launched one of the most prolific and long-lasting music careers of all time.

Here’s the key – he didn’t shut himself off from the folks in Nashville.  Even though they didn’t recognize or appreciate him, he remained open and accessible to all sorts of people, friends and foes.

He didn’t abandon his principles; he was clear about HIS music; but he remained open.  WE can only lead others if we remain open.

If you find this challenging, try the debate method.  Argue the case of your opponent.  It will give you a fuller and deeper understanding of the people who oppose you.  It might even make them more open to you.  Nashville came to love Willie.  Your opponents could come to appreciate you, too. – Shar McBee

Three scenarios:

A SPOUSE.  A survey found that the number one reason that men cheat on their wives is NOT that the mistress is prettier or sexier, but that she likes his clothes and appreciates his job.  She appreciates him.  The wife takes him for granted.

A CAFÉ OWNER.  Last week I stopped in a café for a sandwich.  The waitress served me, then disappeared.  I was alone in the tiny café when the owner, his wife and a sign painter came in.  They began a conversation about a new sign. 

“We need customers, so we want a big sign,” the owner said.  They talked for twenty minutes about the sign.  They left without saying one word to me, a customer.

A POLITICIAN.  When she was shaking your hand, she looked over your shoulder to see who else was in the room.  She lost the election.

Why do we take for granted what is right in front of us? 

My wish for you this New Year 2010:  Don’t worry about changing the world.  Focus on the needs of the people right in front of you.  It will change YOUR world.

– Shar McBee